A friend of mine has been with a big American bank in New York for many years. His monthly conversations with his boss barely reach ten minutes. The annual review is the one long meeting, fifteen minutes and done.
“The review is like Santa Claus when I was a kid. Same nerves, same suspense. Only this time it is about salary and bonus instead of gingerbread. And the feedback is about things that happened half a year ago. What am I supposed to do with that It is already history.”
He grew serious. “Feedback is like milk. It spoils. Leave it too long and it is sour. The chance to learn is gone.”
When I asked him about timing, he said, “As soon as possible, but not right away. Fresh, but not raw. If you tell me right in the moment, I am too close, too defensive. Give me a little space and I can hear it. Wait too long and I will have forgotten.”
Then he paused. “My boss gives me a lot of freedom and I appreciate that. Most days it feels like trust. But when months go by without a word, I ask myself whether it really is trust or if it is indifference.”
Warm regards,
Ralph Hubacher
