Some people can’t even enjoy a sunset without complaining. Wherever they are, whatever they do, they’ll find a thousand tiny flaws. It’s exhausting. For them maybe, but especially for all others around them.
I have a simple strategy: whenever I can, I keep my distance. Don’t get me wrong, these aren’t bad people. They just drain energy I’d rather invest in something else.
Simple to say but not always simple to do. In a working environment you can’t avoid colleagues, bosses or clients forever. If you are lucky, you’ve simply never worked with someone whose constant nitpicking got on your nerves. If not, you not what I am talking about.
I once spent several years in a team with someone just like that. Overly critical, fault-finding, always focused on what’s wrong. No surprise: tension built up, and eventually I had to act. So, I asked for a meeting.
I brought two glasses of water, both filled exactly halfway. “Which one is half full?” I asked. He hesitated. Looked puzzled. Didn’t answer. “It doesn’t matter,” I said.
Then I took a little bag of sand from my pocket and poured it into one of the glasses. The water turned cloudy. “As long as the water stays clear, everything flows,” I said. “But the moment it turns murky, things stall. And that’s exactly what nitpicking does.
His stern expression gave way to something softer and then came a smile. We had a long, honest conversation. Did it completely change his behaviour? No. He remained a critical, cautious person, which is perfectly fine. But whenever he slipped too far back into his old pattern,
I just said one word: “Murky.” And we both laughed.
By the way. A Scottish bartender in Inverness once told me that it doesn’t matter if the glass is half full or half empty, as long as there’ Single Malt in it.
But let’s not go down that road…
Warm regards, Ralph Hubacher
